This addiction has cost me time and money

My earliest sports memory is the 1985 University of Tennessee Volunteers football team, also known that year as the Sugar Vols.  

That Tennessee Vols football team went to the Sugar Bowl and were #8 in the country.  

They played the unbeatable #2 Miami Hurricanes, otherwise known as “The U”.  

UT won that game 35-7 and I was hooked!  

My dad has always been a huge Vols fan, going as far to make his office walls an orange and white checkerboard with UT pics hanging everywhere and he’s been a season ticket holder for 35+ years.

Life was good as a Vols fan, until 2008 when UT fired Phil Fulmer.

Since then we (yes, I still say we) have been through four coaches and just started on our fifth.  

UT hasn’t won double digit games in any season, had the worst and the most publicized coaching searches in history, found every conceivable way to lose close games, have only had 2 winning SEC seasons, squandered NFL level talent, and lost to Vandy and Kentucky with some regularity over the last 5 years.

But I still love UT football.  

I read every article, check out possible recruits, and text with other grown men all of the time about how we would fix everything.

I might love UT football, but it doesn’t love me.  

At all.

All of the time, effort, and energy I’ve poured into each and every agonizing weekend in the fall is usually wasted.  

Honestly, I just don’t have much to show for my investment.

We do the same thing in our business all of the time too.

For example: 

• You invest 2 hours a day on email.

• You invest 4.5 hours a day on your phone.

• You invest 4 hours a day watching tv.   Well, you say it’s just on in the background while you are doing something else, but it still fractures your attention.

• You invest countless hours reliving that time when an infuriating client was wrong and you were right and what you “should” have told them.

• You invest hours stressing out about your future; when can you retire, go to Cancun, get the roof leak fixed, etc.  Not careful planning; just run-of-the-mill worrying.

• You invest hours worrying about your parents and their health even though you can’t control it.

• You invest hours worrying about little Johnny’s place on the soccer team and why he doesn’t get to play more.

You love things that don’t love you back.

There is no return on investment for any of that.

Sure, some of it is unavoidable, but we use that as an excuse to wallow in this “busy” mentality that keeps us in the same “busy” spot without anything to show for it.

At one point you loved the purpose of your business.

• A financial advisor loved helping people plan out their future.

• An insurance agent loved helping people sleep better at night knowing the things that they worked hard for were protected.

But now your day is spent like a human router just moving bits of information around multiple times; constantly checking email, Facebook, your CRM, voicemail, meetings, non-urgent emergencies, etc.

And strangely enough, you love it.  Or at least you think you do.

It’s time to give all of that busy work up.

You love it, but it doesn’t love you back.

If it did, you would have more to show for it and you would be happier.

Choose to love the things you can control, the things you are good at, and the things that make you money.

As for me, maybe I won’t  pay attention to spring football practice or the fact that we already have players suspended...maybe:).  

Ugh...they want 'extra' thousand island dressing

My wife Sarah, was a server while she was in college. 

She worked at Cooker, which was this awesome bar and grille that served the best rolls and cornbread in the world.

Granny…not Sarah:)

Her grandmother, Granny, was also a server (waitress back in the day) in her younger years and she was always so proud that Sarah was working her way through college.

Granny, a deeply religious woman, would often brag about Sarah to folks at church.  

Unfortunately, Granny could also get a little confused from time to time and she would tell people, “Oh Sarah is just such a pretty girl and a hard worker.  You know she makes good tips at Hooters!”  

Granted, Cooker and Hooters sound a little alike, but man, I would’ve loved to have seen the looks on the church members’ faces when Granny would tell them that.  

Sarah did make good tips.

That is unless the customer would order ‘extra’ thousand island dressing for their side salad. 

That usually meant about a 5% tip.  

Thousand island dressing is the awful orangey stuff you find on a Big Mac. 

And people were putting a double dose of this on their SIDE salad.  Twice the dressing, half the salad.🤢  

It wasn’t that these customers were bad, but that usually indicated that they didn’t get out much and weren’t used to a customary 20% tip.

Sarah couldn’t pick her customers at the Cooker. 

She just had to take whoever walked in the door.  She wasn’t allowed to prioritize her clientele.

However, we can prioritize who our clients are.

I preached this forever to my own coaching clients.  

• You can never outearn bad clients.

• You can have a bad situation with a good client and still make things work.

• You can have a good situation with a bad client and things almost never work.

However, when I started my Explainer Video business, I had a hard time taking my own advice. 

In my first year or two I took on anyone with a pulse and my revenue and stress level showed it.

It was only when I decided to work with people that were serious about their marketing and had good attitudes did that change.

• There were certain industries where the clients were always cash-poor and flaky.  

• There were clients I had currently that gave me a bad gut feeling about them when we first talked, but I ignored it because I wanted to make the sale.  You know the clients that are already interrupting you to ask their next skeptical question before you can answer the first one.

• There was always the, “Give us a deal on this first video and if it works and maybe we will buy more” guy.  I’ve got news for you.  Nothing ever “works” for that guy:).

Your priorities for your business matter; not what is on fire at the moment.

Things will always be on fire and your inbox will always be full.

Make client selection a top priority and make finding those clients a top priority.

If you are always too busy to take a look at your existing clients and make a decision once and for all about who you DO want to work with and you DON’T want to work with, then you are too busy.

This is a priority!

Once you make that decision, create quality content that attracts the right prospect.

Then you can qualify anyone you talk to to make sure they will be the right client.

You may have to take a step back to take a step forward.

If you don’t you will end up with the ‘extra’ thousand island folks. 

Again, nice people, but not the right fit for you.

Sarah hasn’t been a server since college, but she does have her own bookkeeping business and she applies those lessons learned to her own client selection.

Cooker has since gone bankrupt.

And Granny finally got to meet Jesus in person.  

I wonder if he told her about Hooters? 

Probably not:).

She LITERALLY just did this to me!

Vacation in 2016. Not sure who “just did that” to Lane, but he’s not happy:)

“Daddy, daddy, look!”

Ugh.  I knew this wouldn’t be good.

Last week, my eight-year old son Lane, was in desperate need to reenact the atrocity that just happened to him.

---

Lane - “Daddy, Ava LITERALLY just did this.”  Lane shoves himself violently to the floor along with the sound effects that only Michael Winslow from Police Academy could pull off.

Me - “Why did she do that little buddy?”

Lane - “Because I just barely touched her like this!”  Lane gently taps his own arm like you would if you were petting a strange dog that may bite your face off.

---

Now I wasn’t there to witness this event, however, the reality of the situation rarely matches the real-life scenario.

Likely, Ava and Lane were both in the wrong over a disagreement over the remote control that neither will remember by this time tomorrow.

But Lane was having a fit and needed to show me what awful thing happened and relive it again and again.

This is kind of his new thing.

“Daddy, daddy, look”, used to mean that he would show me how high he could jump, but now it’s to reenact the latest drama that happened to him.

And the reenactment is always way worse than what really happened.

It’s frustrating.

I always try to listen, empathize and then help him figure out how to handle the situation next time.

And by try, I mean I immediately cut him off and tell him to get over it, which I’m sure will come out to a hefty counseling bill when he’s in his mid-twenties.

But he has an excuse.  He’s eight.  

We don’t have that luxury.

Yet, we spend many of our waking ours reliving previous arguments and frustrations.

I still mentally argue with a boss from 14 years ago about projects and deadlines for a proprietary software that no longer exists.

In my mind, she said this and I said that, but here’s what I should’ve said and then she would’ve realized that I was RIGHT and she was WRONG!

In reality, I can barely remember what I’m mad about and she probably can’t even remember my name.

I’d like to say I’m alone in this type of thinking, but I’ve been coaching small business owners too long to believe that.

So many times I’ll have a client that can’t move past a previous hurt.

Things like:

• A needy customer, that kept asking for one more thing, but refused to pay any more.

• An employee you had to fire because of incompetence, yet they still said everything was your fault..

• A partner that wouldn’t hold up their end of the bargain and it almost became a legal issue.  Almost.

How many waking hours do you spend reliving the past events that can’t be changed?

What return on investment are you getting from that energy spent over old arguments?

The answer is nunzo (a clever word I made up that still hasn’t caught on.)

We learn how to do this early in life and we keep this habit forever.

Think about that.

When you are Lane’s age, you pick up this awful habit and just keep it forever and nurture it like a freaking pet.

That’s nuts!

When one of these recurring past events cross your mind, you need to ask yourself, “what will the results be if I play mental gymnastics with this thought?”  

If the answer isn’t good, then immediately replace that past thought with whatever you are currently doing, i.e. driving, showering, typing, working in the yard, etc.

Or replace the thought with strategic ways to grow your business.  

Not worry, but actual planning.

As for Lane, hopefully, he will live through th....oh wait.  Nope, he’s yelling for me right now.

I think Lilly just ate the last cookie:).

I shouldn't be telling you this🤐

Oh man, I’m sure I shouldn’t be telling this, but I can’t help myself:).

This is a recent conversation I had with a small coaching client, Brad (name changed to protect the innocent/guilty.)

Me: So, what have you been up to?  Or better yet what are your goals this year?

Brad: Oh Charles, I’m just so busy trying to keep up with everything.

Me: With what?

Brad: (Looks at me like I have three heads) - You know, all the stuff with Congress, stimulus packages, the virus, and not to mention how crazy the world is in general.  Cancel culture and such.

Me:  Sure...but what are your goals for this year.

Brad: Just to keep my head above water I guess.

Me: No, I mean how much money do you want to net?

Brad: Well, I’d love to make over $150K!

Me: Cool.  How much did you net last year?

Brad: About $60k.

Me: Oh...um, how are you basically gonna triple your income.

Brad: Not sure.  Just too much going on right now.

Me: Yeah, but how does that actually impact you?  You’re an insurance agent.  I understand that you need to know what’s going on in the world, but…

Brad: (Incredulous now) I’m just so busy keeping up with it and my clients are too!  Everyone is just waiting to see what happens before they make any big moves.

Me: How much time do you spend keeping up with everything on your phone and the news versus how much time do you spend trying to keep clients and get new clients.

Brad: Oh I don’t spend much time on my phone or the news.

Me: You just said you SOOO busy keeping up with everything!

Brad: (Sheepishly) Well, yes, I guess I could spend less time on it.

Me: And getting new clients?

Brad: Not enough.  

Me: Let’s just assume you are on your phone for 4 hours a day, which is the average, and you watch and listen to the current events of the day for just 1 hour.  Assuming 20% of the time is necessary, then 80% isn’t.  

Oh lord, that’s about 28 hours a week on this crap!  That’s like another full-time job!

Brad: But, I really don’t think it’s that much.  And I have a responsibility to be an informed citizen or I’ll just be another sheep lost in the…(blah, blah, blah drones on for nine minutes in a zombie-like manner).

Me: Then what actions have that other full-time job led you to take?  Did you rally, protest, counter-protest, write your Congressman, create a series of compelling videos or seminars to change other people’s minds, etc.?

Brad: No.

Me:  Dude, turn off the tv and quit doom scrolling.  Call your existing clients, write a legit newsletter, create content, and call prospects instead.  If you do it for 28 hours a week, you will feel much better and destroy your $150k net goal!

Brad: (sounding defeated) Yeah, I should probably do that.

This was last month. 

I checked in on Brad recently.  He’s in the same spot. 

He’s not gonna net $150k.  I don’t think he’s gonna net $60k. 

But he sure can tell you everything wrong with Congress and the latest thing on Facebook that made him mad.

Don’t be like Brad. 

Unplug yourself from the Matrix.  It doesn’t care about you,

Put down the other full-time job of being an “informed citizen” and make a real difference in other people’s lives.   

Oh, and feel free to make a little money and be happy too:).

Why I kicked my daughter out of my morning routine

When the pandemic started Lilly, my 9-year-old daughter, and the sweetest child on planet Earth, and I got into this weird morning routine.

Previously she would always give me and Sarah a great big morning hug and ask us how we slept. But now that we were making an effort to quarantine, our schedule was out of whack.

We would sleep in just a little later than we used to and when we would see each other in the morning, I’d still get my customary hug, but there seemed to be this unwritten agreement that we would put off the morning conversation.

It is almost like we would avoid each other like you do when you see an old friend at the grocery store, but you’re in a hurry, so you pretend not to notice them.

I used to do this with one of the Executives at my old job. He can’t give me a random project if he doesn’t bump into me in the hallway.

Anyway, I never said this aloud, but I wanted to get to my coaching clients right away and not get any further behind their daily crisis of being shut down and creating the next steps.

Lilly would also need to get a quick breakfast and log into Google Classroom for her never-ending Zoom calls and videos she was required to watch.

This routine even slipped into the weekend when I needed to mow the yard and she would want to crawl back into bed and watch “Some Assembly Required” on Netflix. By the way, Netflix has put out some god-awful kids’ shows. Not inappropriate, just plain ole bad. Like Ishtar and Weekend at Bernie’s II bad.

Most days we would get back to our old routine and have an actual conversation by mid-morning and do daddy-n-daughter stuff.

I know what you’re thinking...“but now I’ve realized the error of my ways and make my kids a priority first thing in the morning!”

Nah.

This routine has worked during this little period of our lives or as folks in our church say, “this season of life” which is Christian lingo that is terribly overused.

This same kind of routine is also prevalent in following up with leads and referrals.

Recently, I had a financial advisor, Adam, respond to some of my content and say he’s interested in learning more about Explainer Videos.

I sent him a templated reply and made a reminder to check back in a week.

He replied and said he was still thinking about it a week after that.

Then, I sent Adam another follow-up email and then another.

Adam apologized a month later and said he was still interested.

Adam and I still haven’t had our conversation as I do with my Lilly Bug every day.

We both just keep putting it off, because it’s easy and we are busy.

But there’s a real problem here.

Adam needs an Explainer Video so he can start closing more leads and getting more clients and I need him to buy one for the same exact reasons.

Even though this should be a priority for both of us, we are doing the morning routine that Lilly and I have, but we’re never getting back together for a real conversation.

It’s easier to just get “busy”, check emails, endlessly work on projects with no deadlines, etc., than it is to get the priorities done.

It’s okay to knock out some busy work if it is more urgent, but you always have to come back to the most important stuff.

You know, the things that HONESTLY make you real freaking money.

Because of this, I’ve made a couple of changes.

Now I make a better effort of chatting with Lilly Bug earlier in the morning because I know that my coaching clients will still be there later, but she will grow up soon and start thinking she’s too cool for me like my 12-year old Ava does (insert sad face emoji).

This has led to more daddy/daughter time and less guilt.

And I’ve gotten more aggressive in my follow-up with the Adams of the world by using the telephone app on my magic pocket computer and sending more frequent and direct emails.

This has led to more Explainer Videos for more clients and me sharing this with you because I’m betting you are in the same routine.

Break the routine of getting too busy with your urgent tasks.

Create more time for the important items that make you happy and make you real money!